R Puzzle: Holy Shit!

by Jofish Kaye

Three Hints:

1. Arrange as a cross with equal height and width.

2. Only use the numbers once you've found everything else and put them in order. Rebus is a red herring, by the way.

3. Sort by Saints Day

Answer

Holy Shit is a three-dimensional wordsearch. The puzzle is given as a set of nine crosses. Each of these should be cut out and assembled into a cube. The cubes should then be assembled into the shape of a cross. Numbering the cubes from left to right and from top to bottom, cube 1 is the top of the cross, cubes 2-6 are the arm of the cross, and 7-9 form the base. This should be relatively simple: this is the order they are presented in on the page, and the blank spaces (where cubes intersect other cubes) loosely define their locations. Furthermore, the center face of each cross is uppermost on the cross, and the letter directions are consistant throughout the cross. The final result should look like this picture (without the highlighted words, of course)

Once the cross is assembled out of the cubes, perform a wordsearch on the three-dimensional surface. The following list of words is produced: they are all saints and their various patronages. The remainder of the letters, read left to right, top to bottom spiraling around the cross starting at the top left square, read "PLACE SAINTS IN ORDER BY SAINTS DAY WITH PATRONAGES. THEY UNIQUELY IDENTIFY EACH SAINTS FEAST."

Following those instructions, the following table can be produced. Once in order, use the list of numbers at the bottom of the page to determine the nth letter of each saint name.

Feast Day Patronage Saint Name N Nth Letter
17 January erysipelas Anthony (the Abbot) 5 O
24 January Columbus, OH Francis (de Sales) 1 F
1 February drapers Severus (of Avranches) 1 S
14 February epilepsy Valentine 6 T
23 March Peru Turibius (of Mogroveio) 1 T
4 April internet Isidore (of Seville) 7 E
23 April boy scouts George 4 R
31 July fish Neot 2 E
28 August sore eyes Augustine (of Hippo) 5 S
30 August fistula Fiacre 3 A
14 September peasants Notburga 4 B
16 September Algeria Cyprian (of Carthage) 2 Y
16 October bankers Bernadine (of Feltre) 1 B
28 October lost causes Jude 4 E
29 October insect bites Narcissus 3 R
13 November tailors Homobonus 7 N
1 December numismatists Eligius 3 I
2 December hangovers Bibiana 6 N
20 December stiff necks Ursicinus (of Saint-Ursanne) 4 I

Reading the letters in order gives OFSTTERESABYBERNINI, spacing out gives OF ST. TERESA BY BERNINI. This is a reference to the easily-web-searchable statue in the Vatican, Ecstasy of St. Teresa; the answer is ECSTASY.