|
(college fight song) We slave and toil for hours on end, To make our bosses smile... I wonder how my wife is, Haven't seen her for a while... But thanks to this our profits Are always in the black. AcmeCorp, we love you And we know you love us back. But where'd we learn the marketplace techniques that now you see Acme... Acme... Acme University! A! Alan Greenspan is dazzled by my wealth! C! My commodities will bring me constant health! M! Managed growth will keep our family from exploding! E! Every other firm around us is imploding! They don't have the synergy that our brethren do, They didn't go to Acme U! Fight, fight, fight for Acme University! Fight, fight, fight for portfolio diversity! A second quarter earnings warning just crossed my desk! But just-in-time, we paper-shred the pest! We'll fight, fight, fight for our customer base! Global domination is the key! And I don't know for sure if we've hit two minutes yet So on to song verse three -- Hey! Hey! Hey! Fight, fight, fight for Acme University! Failing our customers? I consider that perversity! Our revenue is through the roof, we don't have any creditors. That's because our Sales Department murdered our competitors. We'll fight, fight, fight for our blue-chip holdings, Just like that film Nick Nolte did with Shaq. We'll fight any Sloan weenie standing in our way Because we went to Ac! Me! U-ni-ver-si-ty!!! ...And we're still stuck on "Stairway to Hea-ven"....
 |