You are in a small squarish room. There are stairs to the north and a dark tunnel south. There is a box labelled "Acme" here.
> open box
The box is empty.
> go tunnel
You can't go that way. Looks like someone's already tried.
In other words, start at the "Wile E. Coyote" tunnel in the building 9 stairwell.
> go n
You climb 6 steps and find yourself in a
Deserted Hallway
Water glints to the north, and burbles to the west. Geography is weird. A door leads off to the east.
There's a poster with water on it to the north, a water fountain to the west, a glass door to the east.
> go n
2 right turns later, you are confronted with a
Wall
Off to the west you can see ships setting off to sea, a stark contrast to the tunnel leading east.
The west wall has a poster of some ships in harbor.
> go e
Entering the tunnel, you duck under 6 overhead lights and find yourself in
Disney World
Aaughh! There are little brats everywhere! All the exits are east, but for a bottomless shaft leading down into blackness.
To the east there's a hallway with lots of EXIT signs, there's an elevator here, and the office to the north is Professor Orlando's.
> go down
Fleeing the multitudes of children whining for candy, you plunge headfirst down the shaft. Cleverly avoiding being eaten by a grue, you plummet approximately 2 stories, emerging dazed and disoriented into an anteroom. You lurch through some doors on your right and end up
Outside
Wow, there's a lot of stuff out here. But no mailboxes, swords, or gazebos, thank goodness. You notice a path running north and south. From the north you feel a strong breeze. Along the southern path you catch a glimpse of a mystic symbol high above the ground.
Outside building 9. Wind tunnel to the north. Triangle over the tunnel under building 7 to the south.
> go s
You move in to get a closer look at the symbol, but the digits on it mean little. Disappointed, you shield your eyes from the lurid glare and continue through the archway into an open field. Eek! Enemies! Running pell-mell through the field, you shy from the 5 imposing figures to your right, disturbed beyond measure by their round faces and reserved expressions. You head for a door in the western wall, shove it open, and enter
Ignore the numbers on the sign. Go past the flashing red lights into the parking lot. To the right there are five parking signs with large circles at the top (around the letter P) and the word "Reserved" on them. Enter building 5.
The Most Boring Hallway Ever
Eh. It's a hallway. North or south.
> go s
You yawn and stroll south into the
Market
It's an oddly silent market. Vendors stare blankly at you, passively offering up their wares. Perhaps they have submitted to the controlling forces nearby, the 5 red-framed black faces keeping watch. You notice stairs ascending behind the vendors.
Basement of building 1. There are vending machines here--there were five, until the Pepsi machine disappeared. Luckily there are also five fire-control panels.
> go up
After only 2 flights of stairs, you emerge into
Emancipator's Hall
You feel like signing some documents of manumission just standing here. Believe it or not, being a public servant is beginning to sound like fun. Exits are sprinkled liberally throughout the hall, to the north, south, up, down, and east.
Why two stairs? Second floor lobby is a small shrine to John Ripley Freeman--hence "Believe it or not" and "emancipator." The plaque refers to him as a "public servant" for his work in fire safety, and the portrait shows him holding a sprinkler head.
> go e
You instantly regret your decision to head east, as the ceiling makes you seasick. You focus your attention on the doorways instead, counting 8 of differing widths until the ceiling is calm once more and you reach a rest area. Your stomach settled, you move on to the
The east hallway into building 1 has a nauseatingly cream-and-red wavy ceiling--it used to have 8 tile rectangles on the floor until they retiled. There are 8 doors before the bathroom (which is just into the next hall).
Park
Not much grass here, but it's a serviceable little place. Confused humans wander the walkways, contemplating the mysteries of the cosmos. Exits lead southwest and north, and there is a stairwell here.
Note the plaque put up by Park, which refers to Nam Suh--hence "confused humans."
> go up
You reach the top of the stairs and find yourself in a
Wood
You hear a martin singing. Examining the area, you note a set of stairs carved into a tree and ascend. Up the tree you have a nice view of the entire area, and -- gadzooks -- there are alien spacecraft up here! You count 6 UFOs focusing their abduction beams on you as you cross the outstretched tree limb and climb down the other tree. That was close. As you reach the bottom of the tree, you have but one place to go -- an archway leading north.
Fourth floor of building 1. Everything in very pretty wood. Plaque on the wall for Martin. Odd little elevated hallway, with weird UFO-like hanging lights in the open room it passes.
> go n
You head north into a place with many staircases.
i.e. right back where you were in the "Wood".
Escher Maze
Well. There are a lot of staircases here. Some lead up to tables, some lead out of sight up or down. You take the path north that involves no staircases (you've read about these things) and proceed down a corridor. You pass 6 red pillars before reaching a stairwell. Exits are north, south, west, and down.
Into building 3.
> go down
You head down the stairs to floor 3, and off to your right you see the
Primary Fabric Research Center
Exits are west, east, south, up, and down.
The "Charles T. Main Textile Research Laboratory."
> go east
After passing 2 white doors on the right, you head up the first flight of stairs you can find, anxious to rid yourself of that chemical dye smell.
Place
It's a place. Not much of interest. Exits lead west, which looks vaguely familiar, and east, which doesn't.
Fourth floor again--west is to the glass-enclosed architecture area, which was visible a few steps ago.
> go e
You head east, into a crystal grotto with tubular numbers. Passing 4 crystal doors to the right, you approach the
Ice Palace
You peer into the palace's front door. Everything seems frozen in place, and you are afraid to touch anything for fear you might move it. Exits are east and west, and a nearby stairwell leads up to more tropical climates or down to depths unknown.
Around the corridor, past more architecture and the 10-485 sign, and into area just in front of the Doc Edgerton hallway, with its images of things, well, frozen in place. There are an absurd number of plants up the short staircase.
> go e
You move through the main hallway, noting the pretty colored bands on the floor. You notice __ fire hoses (how strange; you woudn't expect many fires in this area) before you reach the
End of the Road
The road ends here. Fortunately for you, there are exits from this depressing place north, south and west, and a stairwell leads up to heaven or down...well, down somewhere.
Other end of the hallway, building 8.
> go down, of course
I don't understand that.
> go down
You descend perhaps 30 feet (or perhaps 32.1741 feet) and turn right, then proceed down a hallway. Passing under a sign, you look around and find yourself in an
Oddly Disjointed Space
You get the feeling that time and space are bent here, otherwise this place could not exist. You debate taking the 6 stairs to the northeast, plunging into the shaft, or going south.
Where 16 and 8 join up. Elevator, six stairs up to the third floor of 16.
> go s
You gladly leave the disjointed space and pass a series of graded rooms. At least, some of the rooms have been graded, 7 of them receiving A's (what sort of grade is T, you wonder?). Finally the rooms dissolve into a space
In the Clouds
You must be high up--you can see the tops of trees from here! Clouds float all around you, looking oddly similar, as if magically duplicated from a single prototype. Exits from here lead north, south, west, down, and up.
Past rooms suffixed with letters A, B, and T, and to the stairwell of buildings 6 and 2.
> go w
You pass through a relatively normal hallway, though you suspect strange experiments are taking place all around you. You pass 4 red wall boxes with warning lights and speakers; presumably these prevent said experiments from roaming freely throughout the halls of this place. You've seen enough terrifying things without adding any lurking horrors to the landscape. You approach
The Court
The court is in session, and from your perch you have a fine view of the proceedings there. Perhaps the strains of music to your right are court musicians. There are exits southeast, north, up, and down.
The hallway in 2 past the Chemistry people. Count the fire boxes on the wall. End outside the second floor classroom in 4. View of the courtyard ahead; music rooms to the right.
> go down
Descending the stairs, you make 2 or 3 left turns and find yourself face to face with a
Fountain
Eek! A fountain! Exits are up, down, east, north, and south.
Not much but a water fountain at the base of the stairs. There is the plaque of Ellen Swallow Richards; perhaps that can be used instead, in which case it's three left turns.
> go s
Swallowing your fear, you turn around and prepare to flee the mighty Fountain, only to end up sucked out the door into
The Void
Oh well; not quite the direction you intended, but at least this got you away from that Fountain. You proceed down 7 steps to the Sidewalk of the Void. Exits are...well, you can go any direction you want in The Void.
Past the Ellen "Swallow" Richards room, out the door to Killian Court.
> go s
You head towards what you pretend is a river (of course, nothing exists in The Void) and you are drawn toward some
Ancient Ruins
You don't think you imagined the Ancient Ruins into existence, yet here they are. Funny-looking, really. Bored, you devise a sensible measurement system and determine that the Ruins are 5 units tall. Maybe you should write a paper and name the units after yourself.
Michael Heizer's statue Guennette, 1977. Evenly spaced bands mark it as five units tall.
> go se
You face the "river" and head southeast. You pass a "lamppost" and reach some "stairs". You know, given that nothing is real, you might as well pretend you're in reality. It'll save you some quotation marks. Heading through the doors at the top of the stairs, your turn right and amble, like a sleepwalker, through a
World of Violets
Nary a string of white lights to be seen, and it's not December anymore. Regardless, there are 4 radiators in this world. There's the exit you came in through, and another one, but you can't stay here.
I perambulate, somnambulent. Into classroom 2-190, with its garish purple chairs. Two doors out.
> go se
You exit through the other door, and suddenly feel more awake. You scale the heights before you, making 2 left turns and passing through a door before entering the
Rotary
Funny, it's not circular. You see a sign advertising Vogon poetry on the wall. Exits are east or down.
Up the steep stairs to the second floor, and to the Rota Reading Room, near the office of Professor Vogan.
> go e
Heading down the east rotary exit, you pass 8 mail slots before coming to
Coyote Corner
Ha ha, that's funny. There's a staircase here, and exits to the west and north.
End of the corridor: Professor Wiley.
> go up
You ascend one flight and turn right. After you pass 5 door handles, and many more door knobs, you are surprised to see a
Window Shop
Not just a place for looking through the window, though the windows do dominate the area; but in fact a place that specializes in helping you look through things. If only you could look through to the end of this trail! Exits are north, west, and south, and there is a stairwell here.
Do you know how little distinguishes these damned hallways? Mail slots, door handles. Third floor, building 2 entering 6: X-Ray lab.
> go down
You go down one flight and head for the second, passing 2 mail slots, only to stop, paralyzed with indecision.
Crossroads
There are so many ways to go here, you can't decide. You know your goal is near, however. What's it to be -- north, south, or down?
Second floor.
> go s
Worried that you're heading in circles and desperate to shake your sense of deja vu, you head south. You pass 4 doors on the right, and as you reach the firehose, feel the tug of the key you're looking for from the right.
The Door
You've reached the door to the Matrix!
i.e. "2-240: Prof. Strang". Gilbert Strang, of course, teaches Linear Algebra.
> open door
The door is locked.
> break in
That's illegal. You don't want to get arrested. What would your children think?
Please don't break into the nice man's office.
> get coin
There is no coin.
> get key
Well, that's the problem. How can you do that...